Breaking the Shame Cycle in Recovery

But for addicts, it sticks around, often just beneath consciousness. Then it leads to other painful feelings and problem behaviors. You feel ashamed of who you are and don’t believe you deserve love, respect, success, or happiness. Many of us feel guilt and shame for reasons other than addiction.

guilt and shame in recovery

Shame is a feeling that reflects how we feel about ourselves, while guilt is our awareness about how our actions have affected someone else. Someone who experiences shame may view themselves as flawed somehow, whether it’s about their appearance, a disability or other perceived flaw. What he speaks of helps us to understand Carl Young’s statement. And what Dr. McCauley says is that addiction is a disease of choice. And we can talk more about this in terms of what that means in terms of brain and body because it’s very important to understand that even at a basic level. Substance Use for Teens Explore individualized treatment programs that help teens with drug abuse, mental health, and co-occurring conditions.

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Learning to cope with guilt and shame can have a significant positive impact on recovery. “One of the best coping mechanisms for feeling shame is to stop doing the behavior that led to the existence of shame. If others were harmed, apologizing to them could also be helpful in alleviating shame. Many people may also feel guilty for the disruptive effect that their addiction had on others. In recovery, you will need to acknowledge the times that you let people down or actively harmed them.

  • We know that shame can lead to alcohol use, and alcohol use can cause shame.
  • And that possum is what psychology called shame is that shame is a freeze response.
  • Instead of feeling shame that you developed this disorder, you should feel proud that you are taking the necessary steps to manage your symptoms and achieve recovery.
  • It tells you that you’re flawed and not worthy of happiness or forgiveness.
  • Here are some tips for moving past the guilt and shame to help strengthen your recovery outcome.

Guilt is about saying something or doing something while intoxicated or under the influence that is regretful. Shame is a step further which acknowledges that a person feels bad for their actions when they shouldn’t have. Internalizing this guilt can have guilt and shame in recovery long-lasting ramifications. While these feelings can make addiction treatment challenging, they can also play a vital role in sustaining long-term recovery. Shame and guilt may be uncomfortable, but they are not always negative and can serve a purpose.

Are People The Cause Of Their Own Addictions?

Ultimately, you are punishing yourself for the things you did in your addiction, and that doesn’t do you, or the people around you, any good. While guilt and shame are very similar emotions, there are many differences between the two, and recognizing them is important. Guilt is when you feel bad about something that you’ve done, or committed to doing and then didn’t. For example, maybe you feel guilty about saying unkind things to someone while you were intoxicated, or making a promise to do something and then not following through. After beginning the journey to recovery, it can be very common to start feeling guilty and ashamed of the things you did while inactive addiction.

  • Individualized, evidence based treatment, to fit your needs.
  • And so the people that we hurt oftentimes are the people that were close to and we have to do a lot of work.
  • Shame is a different level than guilt, a deeper emotion that may be harder to overcome.
  • For example, you might feel guilty about the hurtful words you spoke to your wife when you were drunk, or about forgetting to pick up your child from school when you were high.